Maintaing a Harem Takes a Team Effort
by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR
Summary: After finally defeating the Akatsuki, Team 7's members decide to settle down. With a harem. And we all know that maintaing a harem takes a team effort. Team 7xHarem. Future Lemons aplenty!
1. The most Perverted Plan of all time

Maintaing a Harem Takes a Team Effort

Written By: The Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: After finally defeating the Akatsuki, Team 7's members decide to settle down. With a Harem. And everyone knows, Maintaing a Harem takes a team effort. Team 7/Harem. First of its kind!

...Don't ask me how I got the idea for THIS. It just came up randomly, and I went with it. But just to make things clear, Naruto and Sasuke will share the girls that are close to their age (except Sakura), Sakura will get the boys close to her age, and Kakashi will get the older women like Anko and Kurenai. Now that that's settled, let's begin! Oh, and Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto are all 18 years old.

Prologue

The Most Perverted Idea of All Time

* * *

It was a fairly nice day within Konohakagure. The sun was shining, the birds chirping, the water, sparkling. Everything was perfect. 

"NANI?!"

...Well, almost perfect.

* * *

All the members of Team 7 were at their usual spot on the bridge. Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were summoned by their sensei, who wanted to talk to them about something important. But they never would have thought that it would be anything like THIS. 

"You have GOT to be joking, Kakashi-sensei! Even you can't be THAT perverted!" Sakura shouted.

"I don't know... those books might have given him ideas," Naruto muttered, eyeing Kakashi with an eyebrow raised.

Sasuke didn't say anything. But he was staring at Kakashi even more intently than Naruto was.

Kakashi raised his arms up in defence with a smile under his mask. "Now now, at least hear me out before you start biting my head off. There are many...benifits to having a harem," he replied.

"Like what? Besides doing all of the perverted things like the things in your book?" Sakura scowled.

"Well, for one, if you manage to form a real strong bond with your lovers in the harem, you could have people willing to put their own lives at risk to make sure that you survive," Kakashi said. "Of course, the reasons for having a harem would be more then that."

"...Like?" Sasuke said, speaking up for the first time in a few minutes.

"Think about it, Sasuke. Having a harem would make fulling the second part of your goal MUCH easier, now that Itachi is dead," Kakashi replied. "And with so many lovely and powerful laides here in this village alone, you could make the Uchiha Clan more powerful than it ever was in the past."

"Huh. Doesn't sound like there would be that much room for love..." Naruto muttered to himself. Kakashi heard him, of course.

"Now, that's not true, Naruto. Trust me, it would be easy for a huge heart like yours to love more than one person. And as long as the girls in your harem approve of each other, and you love them all equally, then there will be no worries," Kakashi reassured him.

"That may be all well and good for you MEN, but I don't intend to have a harem full of WOMEN anytime soon," Sakura scoffed.

"Of course not, Sakura. After all, when me and the boys get all of the women, the rest of the boys might begin to get a bit...lonely," Kakashi said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestivly.

"...You MUST be joking," Sakura deadpanned.

"Ah, come on, Sakura. Surely you've dreamed about being around boys other than Sasuke. Maybe even...more than one boy at once..." Kakashi coxed.

"...That's not the point!" Sakura protested, trying (and failing) to hide her blush. "The point is, how do you even think we'll manage to pull this off?"

"Trust me, with our combined talents, looks and charms, it'll be a snap," Kakashi said. "So, are you in?"

Nobody said anything for a while. Then Sasuke stepped foreward.

"I'm in," The Uchiha said.

"Sasuke-kun?!/Teme?!" Both Sakura and Naruto shouted respectively.

"What? I need to revive my clan. So this seems as good a chance as any," Sasuke shrugged.

"...Well, if Sasuke-kun is doing it, then I will too! Those boys won't be able to resist MY charms!" Sakura bosted.

"...Ah, what the hell. I'm in too!" Naruto said. "But...how do we get started?"

"Well, first we'll need to pool up our money together and buy a VERY big house where we and our harem can live," Kakashi said.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to move into the Uchiha Estate?" Sakura questioned.

"Trust me, Sakura, that place, with the exception of Sasuke's room, hasn't been clean in 5 years. I don't think it'll be any help in setting the mood," Kakashi replied.

"...Point taken," Sakura replied.

"Okay. Now that that's settled, let's get out there and begin taking high level mission so that we can buy our dream home. That will be the FIRST step in establishing our harem!" Kakashi said, raising his fist in the air.

"Yeah!" Sakura and Naruto cheered, doing the same. Sasuke just smirked.

And so began the most perverted plan of all time...

* * *

And that does it for now! You can be sure that there will be Lemons later on in the story. I hope you enjoyed it, and catch you next continue! 


	2. We have to do WHAT!

Maintaing a Harem Takes a Team Effort

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

Summary: _After finally defeating the Akatsuki, Team 7's members decide to settle down. With a Harem. And everyone knows that Maintaing a Harem takes a team effort. Team 7/Harem. First of its kind!_

Wow. I got such a big turn-out for such a short chapter. I guess that people really like this idea. Well then, I can't let all of you down! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 1:

Yay! Back to the Land of Snow! …Wait. We have to do WHAT?!

* * *

We find our (perverted) heroes heading towards the Hokage Tower, getting ready to take on as many missions as it would take to buy their Dream Home/Harem Headquarters.

"So, Kakashi-sensei. How much money would you say that we need to buy this, 'Dream Home'?" Sakura inquired.

"A good question, Sakura. And I just happen to have an estimate price written down right here," Kakashi replied, handing her a piece of paper.

Sakura took a look at the price written down, with Sasuke and Naruto looking over her shoulder.

Seconds later, it took all that Sakura had for her not to faint.

"ARE YOU KIDDING, KAKASHI-SENSEI?! We'll have to take like a MILLION missions to get even HALF-WAY to this much!" Sakura shrieked.

"I hate to admit it, but Sakura has a point. Even the Uchiha clan didn't have that much money in its life time," Sasuke said.

"I don't think that even Konoha as a WHOLE has that much money!" Naruto said, jaw slack and eyes wide.

"Well then, we'd better get started, don't you think?" Kakashi chuckled.

"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!" Sakura and Naruto roared. Sasuke just glared at Kakashi as they finally got into the tower.

* * *

The 4 friends (comrades if you ask Sasuke), were granted permission to enter the Hokage's Office. But as they got close enough to it, they could begin to hear something.

"Is that someone…talking?" Naruto questioned.

"It sounds more like someone…MOANING to me," Sasuke said, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Yeah…and that someone sounds like…Tsunade-saishou…" Sakura thought, trying to get rid of the mental images.

"Hmmm. I knew that she and Jiraiya have gotten together, but I didn't know that they had become that…daring," Kakashi said, impressed.

"Don't act all impressed, sensei! That is hardly behavior fitting of a Hokage, even if it IS Tsunade-saishou!" Sakura protested.

"Well, if you want to tell her that to her face, then be my guess. I'll gladly arrange for your funeral papers," Kakashi replied, shrugging.

"Okay, the noises are getting louder. I better put a stop to this…" Naruto grumbled, marching towards the door to the office. He began to pound on it. "Okay, Baa-chan! You have until the count of 10 to get decent before I barge on in there!"

Team 7's members heard a little bang on the other side, followed by some cursing. They also heard something that sounded like someone franticly searching for their clothes.

"J-Just a minute!" Tsunade's voice came from the room.

"Damn you, Naruto!" Jiraiya's voice said.

The rest of Team 7 sweat dropped, while Naruto had a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

* * *

Soon after, our heroes found themselves facing a very flushed Tsunade sitting behind her desk, and an indignant Jiraiya glaring at all of them (Naruto in particular).

"So, are you guys here to receive your next mission?" The busty Hokage said, trying (and failing) to hide her blush.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. But could you please do us the honor of telling us what the highest paying one is?" Kakashi inquired.

"Any particular reason, Kakashi?" Jiraiya asked, eyeing the Copy-Nin.

"No special reason, Jiraiya-sama. Just need to buy a dream home for our future harem, that's all," Kakashi replied nonchalantly.

Tsunade and Jiraiya's eyes widened. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were so shocked that Kakashi would talk about something so easily like that, that they didn't even think to glare at him. They just stared at him with wide eyes too.

"…I'm sorry….what did you just say?" Tsunade questioned.

"I said that I need lots of money to make a dream home for our future harem," Kakashi replied.

"…And when you say, 'Our,' you mean…" Jiraiya began…

"Yes. Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and myself. We shall each get a harem of our very own (well, Sasuke and Naruto will share the girls in theirs), and all live in the same house with said harems," Kakashi said, ignoring the now murderous looks on the rest of Team 7.

"…You know what; I don't even want to know. I'll just give you the highest ranking mission, and that'll be all," Tsunade said, handing Kakashi the mission briefing.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. Good day," Kakashi said, leaving with his team in tow.

"…Well, that was odd," Tsunade said. Then she looked under her desk. "Are you okay, Shizune?"

Shizune popped her head out from under the desk and nodded. "I'm fine Hokage-sama. Are they gone, yet?" She said.

"Yes, they are," Jiraiya said, a perverted look on his face. He began to remove his shirt again. "Now, where were we…?"

Tsunade and Shizune exchanged glances, and smirked. Then they pounced on Jiraiya, and the fun began anew.

* * *

"KAKASHI! How could you tell Tsunade-saishou and Jiraiya-sama such a private thing so easily?!" Sakura roared, trying her hardest to not STRANGLE her former sensei.

"Well, it's going to be rather obvious with all the girls (and boys for you) following us when we succeed. So we might as well not bother to hide it," Kakashi shrugged, looking at the mission briefing.

"But still, that doesn't mean you just blurt it out to every Tom, Dick and Harry that we meet!" Sakura protested.

"Calm down, Sakura. I think you'll change your tune when you see what the price is for this mission is," Kakashi replied, handing Sakura the paper.

Sakura snatched it away, and looked over it. Then her eyes bugged out.

"OMG! There's enough money here to buy TWO dream houses! And that's not counting the extra money that we can make DURING the job!" Sakura said, very happy all of a sudden.

Naruto and Sasuke decided to look at the letter themselves, to see what could get their teammate in such a good mood. Of course, the very first thing that Naruto noticed on the paper, was that the mission took place in the Land of Snow (sorry, can't remember the Jap Name).

"Alright! This mission takes place in the Land of Snow. We can see Princess Yukie again!" Naruto cheered.

"Naruto. You may want to take a look at the rest of the briefing," Sasuke said, looking ill and pissed off at the same time for some reason.

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto took a look at the rest of the mission.

He came close to fainting.

"Oh. Hell. NO." Naruto said. "No. NO. Forget it. Not even seeing Yukie-hime again is worth THIS."

"I agree with the dobe. I'd sooner castrate myself then do anything like THIS," Sasuke said, glaring at Kakashi.

"Aw, come on! What's so bad about it?" Sakura said.

"…The only reason you say that is because you don't have to do a THING this time, Sakura-chan," Naruto said.

"Besides, you don't REALLY want to do this, do you Kakashi?" Sasuke said, pleading.

"Hm. It doesn't matter to me. Besides, it'll be an all Women's Bar. So we don't have to worry about sending any people the wrong message," Kakashi replied, reading his Icha Icha book.

"But still. Jobs as MALE STRIPPERS?!" Naruto roared. "You CAN'T be serious!"

"You want the Harem, don't you? Well, this is the quickest way to do it," Kakashi shrugged, turning a page in his book.

Naruto and Sasuke took a moment to think about this.

'_Hm. Keep my pride as a manly man…or get a chance to have many women by my side. Tough choice. Hmmm…' _They both thought.

It didn't take too long to decide.

"WE'LL DO IT." They both said at the same time.

"Excellent. We'll head for the Land of Snow first thing in the morning. Prepare yourselves well, for this will be the first step in getting our dream harem!" Kakashi said.

"You said that already," Naruto pointed out.

"…Just be at the front gate in the morning. And bring your skimpiest clothing," Kakashi grumbled, poofing away in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto and Sasuke sighed, walking away. Sakura was all smiles as she walked away. Not only would they get a lot of money without her doing ANY work, but she would see all those HOT naked men up on stage flaunting their stuff. INCULDING Sasuke-kun!

Yep, life was good.

* * *

And that's it for this chapter! As you can see, I obviously like Sakura. Heh. Anyway, does anyone want to see the three-way between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Shizune? I didn't put it up yet because the idea of JIRAIYA doing someone might have turned a few of you off the story (although he DOES look good for his age. The wart on his nose is the only flaw).

So, if you want it, I'll put it up next chapter. And I've also posted this at Adult Fanfiction dot net, under the screen name, PrinceofPervs. I'll definitely put the lemon there on the next chapter, so if you really want to see it, then check out the Naruto section under 'General'.

Anyway, hope you liked it! Catch you next continue!


	3. Preparing for the Mission

Maintaining a Harem Takes a Team Effort

Written by: Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR

"Why did we agree to do this, again?" Naruto asked, as he and his team walked into the new…'Icha Icha Pleasure' store that Jiraiya had created during the celebration of the defeat of Akatsuki.

"Because of the Harem, remember?" Kakashi said, his eye creased in a smile.

"…Why aren't you as disturbed about this as we are, Kakashi?" Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow. "I know why Sakura doesn't have a problem with it…" He added, giving a glare towards the pinkette.

Sakura just shrugged, a tiny smirk on her lips. "What can I say? Ogling nice male bodies is a hobby of mine. Why do you think I put up with your frosty attitude back when we were kids?"

"I KNEW you didn't like him for just his personality!" Naruto shouted.

Sakura giggled. "Don't get me wrong, he's mellowed out a lot since he killed Itachi, which makes him even more desirable. I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind a roll in the sheets with him, that's all."

"What about me?" Naruto asked with a pout.

Sakura laughed again, patting Naruto's head. "You too, Naruto. You really have gotten your father's looks over the years, but you also got your mother's warm and humorous nature. And those two together equals 'Hottie Blond with a Mischievous Side.'"

Naruto grinned widely, smirking at Sasuke. "You hear that? Sakura thinks I'm hot."

Sasuke, eye twitching throughout the entire conversation, chose not to respond to that statement.

"If you children are finished, we should really get to shopping," Kakashi chuckled, as the group came up to the front of the store counter.

"Why the heck are we even in Pervy sage's store anyway?" Naruto asked, as Kakashi rang the little bell on the counter.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Naruto," Sakura said.

A few seconds later, a female voice called out from the back room.

"Coming! Just a minute!"

Soon after, a woman with Red-hair and glasses came from out of the room, looking bored.

"Welcome to Jiraiya's Icha Icha store, the number one provider in all things carnal. How may I help…" The young woman said in a bored tone. But she trailed off when she saw who her costumers were, and her eyes lit up as she gave a big smile. "Sasuke-kun! Sakura-chan! What are you guys doing here?"

"Karin-chan! I didn't know that you worked here!" Sakura replied with a big grin of her own, hugging her friend over the counter. Sasuke just raised a hand in greeting, looking bored himself now.

Shorty before the Akatsuki had been vanquished, Naruto and Sakura had confronted Sasuke's former team known only as 'Taka' (Hawk), in a desperate final attempt to return Sasuke back to Konoha. It had been a tough and grueling battle, but Naruto's Sage Mode had helped the duo to win. Afterwards, Taka had joined them in taking down the mastermind behind Akatsuki, Uchiha Madara, and then had gone their separate ways. Well, all except for Karin, who went back to Konoha with them because she didn't want to be away from Sasuke. …And also because she had gained a grudging respect for Sakura after their battle, and wanted to spend more time with her as well.

Soon afterwards, Sakura and Karin had become close friends, and Sasuke didn't treat Karin as just a mere annoyance anymore, sometimes spending time with the red-haired Kunoichi. Karin had never been happier.

"This is just my part time job, until I can save up enough money to move out of that dinky little apartment I live in," Karin informed Sakura. "So, what brings you guys here? I can understand why Kakashi-san and you are here, Sakura-chan, but why are Blondie and Sasuke-kun here too?"

"Don't call me Blondie, Scarlet!" Naruto growled, glaring at Karin.

Kakashi wacked Naruto gently on the back of the head. "Not now, Naruto. Anyway, the reason we're here is because we've got a very…_special _mission assigned to us by Tsunade-sama."

"…What type of _special _mission?" Karin said, eyebrow raised.

"These boys here are going to be strippers for the women of the Land of Snow!" Sakura giggled, taking in the look of surprise on Karin's face, and ignoring the glares coming from Sasuke and Naruto.

"Sasuke-kun…and the others…are going…to be…STRIPPERS?!" Karin gasped.

It didn't take long for her to start…fantasizing about Sasuke-kun. …Again.

_Karin's Active Imagination_

_There was a spotlight that focused its light on Karin, as she sat on a chair in an otherwise completely dark room._

_But the red-haired lady didn't have to be alone for long. Within a few seconds, a second light shone a few feet away from Karin, and standing there was none other than Sasuke, the Uchiha wearing a large robe over his lithe body._

_The ex-avenger…strutted, for lack of a better word, towards the young woman, that infuriating (yet oh so sexy) smirk on his face. When he was right next to her, he reached out a slender hand, and caressed her cheek for a bit. Karin let out a sigh, and leaned into the palm of the hand as she enjoyed the feel of it._

_Sasuke stepped back from the lusting girl as he lowered his hands towards the sash that kept the robe closed. Karin watched with wide eyes while Sasuke undid the sash, and slowly slipped out of the robe, shaking his hips a bit to add to the sexiness. When Karin saw what Sasuke had on underneath, she began to drool and have a nosebleed._

_Sasuke wore nothing but a cute little bow that barely covered his larger than average erection. The bow looked so frail that just a simple twitch would cause it to rip free._

_Karin had never envied a bow so much before now._

_Sasuke came back to her, Karin's eyes locked on the bouncing erection. She felt his hand gently lift up her chin, so that their eyes were locked, Sasuke's smirk having changed into a loving smile._

"_Time to unwrap your present, Karin-chan…" Sasuke purred, giving Karin a full kiss on the lips._

End Karin's Active Imagination

* * *

"Um…Karin-san…?" Kakashi said with a sweatdrop, wondering why the hell Karin was puckering her lips while her hands made the motion of untying something.

"Oh, great. Her mind's gone into 'Sasuke Sex Dream' mode," Sakura sighed, ignoring Sasuke's twitching as she gave a gentle whack to the back of Karin's head.

"Wha…" Karin went, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs out of it. "…Was I having-"

"Yes." Sakura answered.

"…While he was right-"

"Yes." Sakura answered again.

"…Crap." Karin sighed, slumping against the counter.

"…Okay…" Kakashi began slowly. "Anyway, do you have something that could make the mission easier for us?"

"Yeah…yeah, just wait a minute…" Karin said, dragging herself over to a storage room.

"…What the hell did she…" Sasuke began.

"You don't want to know, Sasuke-kun," Sakura cut him off.

"But what did she…"

"You. Don't. Want. To. KNOW."

Naruto would have said something, but he was too busy laughing his ass off.

Soon, Karin came back out, with a huge white box filled with various clothes and accessories.

"This should help you guys out," Karin said, feeling a bit better.

"Sweet!" Naruto cheered, rummaging through the box. He then gained a confused look on his face as he pulled out a pair of tight leather pants that had a big hole in the back. "Um…why did you give us these torn up pants, Scarlet?"

But Kakashi knew what they were for, and his single eye went wide before he let out a chuckle. "I think that will help out a lot, Karin. What else is in there?

Karin, not saying a word, simply pulled out a few other things from the box. These were including straps for the pants, a biker hat, handcuffs, and fake sideburns.

Sasuke (for some reason) felt a bit ill to his stomach. Naruto was confused as hell, and Sakura was drooling.

Karin giggled, back in full spirits. "If these don't make those ladies swoon, then nothing will. And since we're friends, I'll give these to you for free!"

"Thanks, Karin!" Sakura gushed, giving the red-haired Kunoichi another hug.

"No problem, Sakura. Let me know how it goes!" She smiled. Then she licked her lips as she gazed at Sasuke. "And I'll see you later, stud."

With a few waves good-bye, and a WTF look from Sasuke, the team left the store with their new gear.

"…No matter what happens…Karin is NOT to know of the Harem. EVER," Sasuke growled at everyone.

* * *

Just a short chapter to let everyone know that I haven't given up on this fic. Hope you enjoyed it, and Catch you Next Continue!

* * *


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